Anxiety and Travel, God’s With You

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I wanted to take this picture yesterday. I thought it would be such a cute post...what I pack in my carry-on, but I ran out of time.

What is not shown in this picture is something else I packed, something social media will not show you...Anxiety.

I realized that most everything I pack is to help calm me down, but I’ll get into that later.

I was supposed to leave Monday evening for Iceland, Sunday night as I finished up packing I suffered from what I like to call, a Meg-attack. It’s not like a little one, where I feel a tad bit faint, no it’s a complete loss of control. 

I haven’t had one of these in about a year and a half, since the plane ride to London, I’ve had some smaller ones but not like this.

It was over at about 9pm and I was so exhausted I fell right to sleep...and woke up ready to go. 

I was fine on my way to the airport, “I can do this, God’s with me.”  I arrived to the airport early and as I was waiting for my 1st plane I got a text informing me the plane was delayed an hour and a half and I would miss my connection.

I calmly went to the desk, and he rebooked me until today, he sent for my luggage to be brought out...I was ok.

As I went down the stairs they paged me, and told me to hurry to the check in counter...I was ok.

United Airlines was really trying everything to get me there, they found a flight that went through Amsterdam...I was ok.

I ran downstairs to get my luggage to see if I could make it happen...I was ok.

When I got back to the counter they told me one flight (the one from Amsterdam to Iceland) just sold out, I would got tomorrow...I was ok

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As I walked away and sat on the bench, waiting for Travis to pick me up...i was NOT ok...I cried and cried and cried some more. It wasn’t the fact that I missed my plane (First World problem alert, although I am having FOMO, since all my NYR sisters are already there) it was the fact that there was so much energy, so much focus and preparation that went into getting to the airport.

But for some reason I was not supposed to be on that plane. I wish I had some great explanation for why, and I’m sure it will be revealed to me at some point, but here is where I sit today. And I’m really hoping someone needs this.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).